This day after Thanksgiving I SIT, knowing there are countless blessings all around me.
Yet, I JUST SIT.
Paralyzed to live the life I have been given.
There’s a feeling that my entire body is infected. I run my hands over my face and feel all the sores and wish they would all just go away. That things would feel smooth. And I SIT. And I pick.
A temporary relief that things are smooth – but I look in the mirror and see them still, knowing I am causing the sores.
There is no real relief, only illusion. Realizing that relief is temporary rolls me down the path, reminding me of many other unsmooth things.
Make it stop…dig out the bad stuff…can’t focus on anything else until the bad is gone.
What are all the bad things? Sores, lumps, debt, rejection, arguing, sickness, chaos, disorganization…it all crowds out the room for life to be.
SO I SIT!
Is life always going to be like this?
Will life get cut too short?
Will I cut life too short?
Will I ever feel content to be here?
I catch small glimpses of peace, here and there, but they are snuffed out before they can really take root. I watch life happening all around me and feel as if I’m not allowed to play my part. It’s like I have been banished to time out.
I try to be rebellious, and sneak out, but I am quickly reminded…no, no, you are being punished…go back to time out. SO I SIT…pick, pick, pick.
Can there be Heaven on Earth?
Why is it not for me? (Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth like it is in Heaven.)
Is God my refuge?
God is not dead, He is alive! But still…I SIT.
Call me out! Calm the raging waters! Why must I suffer??!!!
If suffering brings about great strength, why is it that all I can do…
…is SIT?
Come and break in. Pull me out of my “time out“. The relief should not be temporary.
Jesus give me the strength…Your strength…Your authority…to GET UP…and allow Your will to be done…
because;
You have overcome this world.