I have no idea what I am doing!!!! Writing is the LAST thing that I ever think about doing, the LAST thing that I would list as a talent. Which is why I think this is so preordained. I am sure as I get a better feel for this, my posts will have more concrete themes, but for tonight, and maybe for a while, I am just going to try and get thoughts out of my head and onto paper (virtually speaking of course).
Let me stress how overwhelming that is!!!
My brain is constantly churning. I tell people all the time, if you knew how many thoughts ran through my mind on a daily basis, you would be exhausted. It is like one thought colliding with another thought to form yet another thought and suddenly there is a 15 thought-collision pile-up inside my mind.
Here is an example of a mere four thought-collision, My husband and I decided that instead of making resolutions for 2015, we would each decide on one word that would be our mantra for the year. His word is fearless, which is really good for him and I can, and will, go into greater detail about why another time, Aaannnd there is thought collision number one. You see that has nothing to do with the price of tea in china and nothing to do with my word, but that thought was there, swirling around.
Now, let’s get back on track. My first thought was that my one word was “simplify”. I thought that for several days. But then, I got a sense that it is supposed to be “trust”. Ugh!!!! There is thought-collision number two, I didn’t like that because I was so set on “simplify”. My husband had already printed out this nice piece of paper with my word on it to hang on the bathroom mirror and I didn’t want to let go of that word, or idea. MY plan was already in place.
Ahhhhhhhaaaaa! Well there ya have it!! That – wanting to hang on to my idea – is a trust issue. And we are now at thought-collision number three. It’s trust; not in the “you should be a more trusting person towards others” kind of way, but a “you need to put your trust in him and He will simplify your life” kind of way.
And there it is!! That moment of clarity that I had been hoping for. All those thoughts swirling around, trying to make sense of it all…. God still speaks. And we can still hear Him. It’s the journey. It’s the relational back and forth conversations with Him. And…it’s trust. Which brings us to thought-collision number four. I need to trust that He sees the much, much bigger picture and not just the big pile up that I have in my mind. This is a very difficult area for me. Not that He’s suprised by that. Duh!!!
He has already given me several ways to put this word to good use so far this year. I can hear my husband saying, Honey, do you need a pill. Yes…yes I do, hahahah!!!! This year is going to be quite a journey and I hope you all will join me as my thoughts, and God’s plan, collide!!!!
Trust.
Trust….Trust Him. Trust His heart. Trust His strategy. Trust that victory is ahead!
The Father is with me. I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart; I have conquered the world. – The Message John 16: 33